I Want You Both
by Rasika-chan
Summary: ECLIPSE: Bella cannot find herself to choose between Edward and Jacob. Could she...have them both? Edward accepts her decision, her happiness means everything to him. But will Jacob accept as easy as Edward had? Mostly JxB. Some ExB. ONESHOT.


**Of course I don't own _Twilight_, _New Moon_, and _Eclipse_. Everything belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.**

**The end of _Eclipse_ broke my heart, so I decided to come up with this.**

**Enjoy.**

_"You'll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening."_

_-Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart_

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:--:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

Bella...

I don't know what to do about those two. I feel so helpless…and I hate it. What's the point of them loving me when I attract so much trouble? I always end up getting hurt or getting one of them hurt while they're trying to save my pathetic _human_ life. I would die if one of them got killed because of me. They would die for me…and I don't understand.

I'm nothing special. I find myself below average…I'm not beautiful, nor am I athletic. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to keep up with them. Yet, the both of them are in love with me…and I am in love with _them_.

It will be _impossible_ to choose between them. I need them both.

Edward—my Romeo; my perfect marble God…He's saved my life many times and fell in love with me.

Jacob—my personal sun—he brought me back to life when Edward left me. He stitched me back together, and he too fell in love with me.

I need to figure out how to do this.

I need to figure out how to keep them both by my side.

* * *

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck right below my jaw. My heart sped up and a small shiver of pleasure went through me.

"Bella," he whispered against my cheek. "What's wrong, love?"

He could always tell when I was troubled. I sighed and leaned into him.

"Thinking about you…and Jacob," I said softly. I felt him tighten his hold around me, pressing myself more against him.

"Share," he said looking at me. I sighed deeply this time.

"I can't do it," I told him weakly grabbing onto his forearms. "I can't choose between you and him, I need the both of you!" I said my voice straining. The distress in my voice shocked him.

"Bella, my love," he said holding my face in his hands and my eyes began to water. "I'll do anything for you. Even stay around Jacob if it makes you happy. We'll make this work."

"Oh Edward…" I said in a rush of breath. I kissed him with fervor and he gladly responded. Rubbing my hands down his chest he broke the kiss, and I was glad. I needed the oxygen.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered against his lips. "Thank you."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile and caressed my face and neck.

"I'll take you to Charlie, just so you can check in," he said. My 'sleepover' with Alice was over and it was time for me to go home to Charlie. I nodded and kissed his lips again, lingering for just a moment.

I hugged and kissed Alice goodbye and slid into the Volvo. Edward drove quickly, getting me home in no time. Opening the door to step out of the car, Edward stopped me with a touch of his cold hand.

"Go and see Jacob after you get settled. Tell him…" Edward said quietly to me, his golden eyes staring into my brown ones. I nodded and grabbed my bag.

I waved from the porch and stepped inside once I heard Edward drive away.

"Bella, s'that you?" Charlie asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah Dad, I'm home," I replied dropping my small bad at the end of the stairs. I walked into the kitchen and Charlie was up out of his chair.

"Welcome home kid! How was shopping with Alice?" He asked eyeing my clothes. I laughed.

"It was great. You know Alice…" I left my statement unfinished with a chuckle. He knew.

"That's good Bells, glad you had a good time," he said giving me a one armed hug.

"Uh, Dad, would it be alright with you if I could go see Jacob, after I put my things away?" I asked.

"Of course! Poor kid, he was in a lot of pain the last time I saw him. Curses like a sailor! Hope he'll be alright," he said with a slightly worried look.

"Thank you Dad and yes, Jake will be fine. He's a tough guy," I said with a smile and a small blush.

* * *

Throwing my bag into my room and ran out of the house with my keys in my hand. My truck roared to life and I floored it to La Push. Even though my truck would only go around fifty-five miles per hour, I still thought I made pretty good time.

Parking and turning my truck off I ran to the front door and heard Billy tell me to come in. He heard my truck.

"Hey Billy, is Jacob up?" I asked quietly.

"Yes Bella, he's expecting you," he said with a kind face.

I smiled. "Thanks Billy."

I walked hesitantly to his door and didn't know whether to knock or to just walk in. Opening the door just a little bit, I peeked inside.

"Bella," Jacob said from inside. "'Bout time you showed up." I heard the humor in his voice.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Opening my eyes I pushed to door open and closed it behind me, leaving just the two of us in his small room.

"Hey Jake," I said with a smile. Jacob looked at me from his laying position on his bed and gave me a smile.

"Hey Bells," he said. I knelt down by his small bed and slid my hand over his and held it as best I could. Rubbing my thumb over his knuckles I looked at him.

"How do you feel?" I asked _my_ werewolf. He laughed lightly.

"Like I got attacked by a vampire," he said with a grin. "But Carlisle has me pretty drugged up." My heart jumped at the sight of his smile. I was sure he could hear it.

"Oh Jake…" I said bringing my hand up and caressing his cheek. "My Jacob," I whispered. He began to sit up, which made me stand up quick. I brought the hand I was touching his face with to his burning chest, to try and push him back down.

"Whoa Jake, stay down," I said before he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me on top of him. He wrapped his arms gently around me and I buried my face in his neck. Inhaling his scent, I breathed against his neck. I gently nuzzled his neck and brushed my lips across his hot skin. I couldn't resist. Not anymore.

"Bella," he whispered huskily. I raised my head to face him and he wound his fingers into my hair on the back of my head. He pulled me toward him and crushed his lips on mine. I kissed him back with no hesitation. I ran my fingers through his hair and melted into the kiss. His other hand was on the small of my back, grabbing a fistful of my shirt. A deep rumble came from deep within his chest, which resembled a purr and made me giggle inside his mouth. We pulled away when the lack of oxygen was unbearable, but not before he took my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged gently on it before letting it go. Something about that gesture made me want him even more. I gasped gently and a small whimper escaped my throat. I latched myself onto his neck and kissed him there. I also licked and suckled and nipped, receiving a growl of pleasure from Jake. His breathing had increased…and mine did too. His fingers released my shirt and began massaging in small circles all around my lower back. The hand in my hair rubbed all around my head and even down my neck. My breath puffed against Jake's neck.

"Jake," I was able to whimper out. I brought my face up close to his and looked into his dark eyes. Out breath mingled together, and the scent we had created in the room was amazing to the senses.

"I need you…and him," I told him with confidence. "I can't live without the two of you. It's not possible. He said he was willing to do anything for what I wanted and that we'd make it work somehow," I kept staring into his eyes. He did not look away. "I want you both, there is no possible way I can live without either of you! I mean there is n--..."

Jake stopped my rambling by pulling me down to his lips once again. He kissed me gently. "I'll try…if it means staying with you," He whispered against my swollen lips.

"I love you so much, Bella," He said staring into my eyes. I loved the way he said it too.

"I love you, Jake," I barely made it out before I pressed my mouth madly to his. I was so happy, I wanted to cry. However, I was very preoccupied and loving every second. My legs opened and straddled his waist, my thighs hugging him tightly. Our mouths moved against one another and I couldn't _resist anymore_.

I ran my tongue over his bottom lip. He gasped, which was perfect for me. It gave me the chance to run my tongue over his and taste every knick and cranny of his mouth. The taste of him made me lightheaded and I rubbed one of my hands over his naked chest.

_Holy crow_ was he _hot_!

Jake recovered quickly though, for he wouldn't let me have control for long. He shoved his tongue into my mouth and dominated my mouth and it made us both groan. Our levels of arousal were rising quickly and the pleasure seemed wickedly and wonderfully unbearable. My heart wanted to explode along with every nerve in my body.

I could never get away with this with Edward…

Jacob broke the kiss and breathed out a laugh. "Bella, you'll make me lose control if you keep it up," his voice was so rough…so _sexy_. I wanted him to lose control.

"Mmm, good," I said, my own voice husky. He gasped slightly when I nipped at his chin and moaned softly when I nibbled on his ear.

"Damn, _Bella_," he groaned out.

I whimpered at the sound and shivered with anticipation. He just needed another push…

"Jake, I want you so badly," I whispered against his hot cheek. I licked at the sheen of perspiration on his skin. My body was going haywire…going on instinct. He opened his mouth with a haggard gasp as I ground my hip bones against his. My moan was quiet when I bit down onto the chord that connected his neck to his shoulder.

"Mmm—ahh, Bella, _please_!" he begged. It was getting _so hard_ for him. "Not here…" his breathing was so uneven and I could feel his heart hammering in his chest as it was pressed against my own. Or was that my heart? He pulled my head up by my hair, the yank sent pleasure through my body. So it seems I liked it a little rough.

"Bella, please…you know I want you so bad it hurts," He said, his eyes pleading. "Not here, not now." I sighed and held his face in my hands. Smiling, I nodded.

"Okay Jake," I said rubbing my thumb over his bottom lip. "You still need to heal, now don't you?" A chuckle escaped my lips. He grinned.

"Yes, that is very important," he said, his grin getting wider.

"I'll let you rest then," I said moving myself to get off of him, but he held fast.

"Stay," he said turning over slightly, sliding me next to him. Yet, our legs became tangled. "Sleep."

I stared at him lovingly as he positioned himself next to me. One arm I used as a pillow and the other held me against him around my waist. Snuggling into his warmth, I bent my head up and kissed him softly. His scent surrounded me, making me sigh with content and more.

"I love you, Jake," I whispered against his collarbone, then kissing it. "Sweet dreams."

He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer still. "Love you too, Bells. Always."

We both fell asleep in each others arms.

* * *

I'm not sure what I'm going to do first…

There is the whole issue about my becoming a vampire and getting married to Edward. However, if that happens, Jacob and I will be lost.

Just as Edward said, we'll make this work.

For now, I had my two men and was sleeping against one.

I felt whole; complete…and I felt indestructible.

Just like them. My loves.

* * *

**Well, what'd you think? Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. **

**But if you didn't, that's okay too. X3**

**Thanks for reading.**


End file.
